It's hard sometimes

For many people out there who are working in the film industry, or trying to at least, you might have a job that helps pays the bills like I do. Something to help you survive while you try to realize your dream. If this is the case for you, then this rant is nothing new and I apologize. But for those out there that haven't had the experience, it is a tough one.

I want more than nothing in the world than to make a living making films (just enough money to survive, pay the bills, buy food, maybe go out every once in awhile), but at the moment, that is just not a possibility. Car payments, rent, cell phone, all these things require me to have a 9-5. For anyone who lives in LA, they know how DAMN expensive this city is, second, in my opinion, only to New York. This is coming from a midwest boy who knows the rent he pays in LA could be a mortgage on a NICE house back home.

So I have two jobs. One, is my "corporate job" which, to be honest, I can't complain about. It isn't hard work, it pays very well, and I work with great people. But no matter how great the job and how flexible the hours, it still isn't my dream job. So, I go to work from 9-5, then go home to start my second job, writing and working on my film career.

But with a live in girlfriend and getting run down at times from the day job, it is hard to get motivated to do anything then sit back and watch TV or a movie. I am, by nature and my father's example, a procrastinator. I can start doing something, then get COMPLETELY side tracked on another thing, or just never start something at all, putting it off. It doesn't help that I have a TON of interests and hobbies. Playing guitar, cooking, reading, working out........drinking......all these things are easy distractions from writing and filming and I need to stop letting them take control of my dreams. I am constantly spreading myself too thin and getting involved in WAY too many activities at once. I need to focus on the one thing I want more than anything....hookers and blow......a successful film career.